Dating someone who does drugs
the good times will start to pall when you realise he's only "good company" when he's coked, and when he can't get any you will bear the brunt of it Thanks everyone. I've read about the effects and how it can cause mood swings, paranoia, aggression etc.
I've seen none of that yet though - he seems very easy going to me and physically he is showing no signs of its use.
the flu like symptoms associated with a cocaine comedown. 2-3 times a month is an addiction (and I bet he does it more than that, anyway). In my experience, coke addicts are flaky, self obsessed and incapable of really enjoying themselves unless they are on it. Cocaine is a drug that can make you paranoid, suffer panic attacks, depression..this can happen suddenly ie after a non problematic year of use or so, and can affect you every day-not just when you're coming down. If he's doing lines at family occasions, he does it a lot more than 2-3 times a month. Taking the coke out of the equation he's unreliable, cancels on you and is 'restless' (do you mean 'twitchy'? If this relationship is just a bit of fun and short-term, you might be OK.
Other than that, I have seen no mood swings, just a bit of restlessness after we've spent the weekend together. I do wonder how often he's been on coke when he's with me. I won't mention other health issues like heart attacks, hepatits from sharing the straw/banknote etc etc There is every chance that at least one of the above will happen to him in he next few months/years. You said "I really like him but do not want to come second to a drug" but that is exactly what's going to happen, sorry. I'm sure he's good fun now, but what sort of future do you see? But if you're thinking long-term, moving in together, children etc., I would save myself the bother.
I was, however, a bit shocked at the family occasions at which he snorted coke.
I think it bothers him that I don't do it because it's a big part of his social life more than it bothers me that he does it.
Can anyone whose been in a relationship with a cocaine user or who has done cocaine on a regular basis give me their experiences? Mid 30s, you need to be with a potential life partner if you want to have children and this man isn't. You've already said he makes sure he keeps his weekends clear for coke. Weekend cocaine users can be addicts too, and often are. Cocaine psychosis is no fun yukhe seems charming and good looking nowimagine a drug-addled 60yo, crumbling around the edges with half his nostrils missing, and a cocaine-reliant fucking foul temperhe reserves his time to allow for drug-using opportunities ?
I've been doing a bit of reading about it and I don't know whether it's going to cause a problem soon. We have a great time together, he's good looking, very together, good job, has properties, nice family You would have no idea if you met him that he did it. Cross posted - thanks Madonna Whore (great name, btw! Get ready for the head games, the paranoia and the attempts to catch you out. That 2-3 times a month you naively quote is a massive underestimationit seems you are happy to fool yourself even at this very early stage in your relationshiphow much more self-delusion would you have to employ to stay in a long term relationship with a drug addict ?
But before you put yourself in a position to fall for an addict, there are a few things you need to know: For anyone considering dating an active addict, it is important to realize that love cannot conquer addiction.I've only ever tried it once but I prefer to get my highs from real life rather than depending on drugs for it.I am fairly tolerant to drug use (I wish I wasn't but I am though I do find his attitudes about fairtrade a bit hypocritical given his cocaine use), and I haven't asked him not to indulge.That means no matter what he tells you about being able to stop when he wants to, he won't be able to. Do you want to go through the rehab/cold turkey process with him? In your future, do you want there to be bags of cocaine around the house were a young baby could get their hands on it?
Do you want him to be arrested for drug possession?
To Not understand why people get so selfish at the airport?