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” and “Let’s dabble in BDSM tonight.” Being up for anything—a good outlook when it comes to casual sex—really means, “up for fairly common sex acts that we’re both comfortable with, perhaps with minor, fun twists.” It doesn’t mean you need to test drive your kinkiest fantasies.
If you hook up with someone one time—say from a dating app, or a tipsy make out with a long-time acquaintance after your mutual friend’s house party—you don't need to debrief the next day.
Just don’t overdo it, and remember that humor and tone don’t always come through in a text.
“[Texting] is a great way to flirt, maybe give them a taste of who you are,” says dating coach Chrisler.
“It opens up a kind of flirty dialogue of like, ‘You can pay for the next date,’ ” he says. You’re unafraid to say “one inch to the left.” But sex with the same person, with whom you currently have a minor standoff going over who’s going to call the landlord about the water spot in the ceiling in the kitchen, can also become rote in a way casual sex cannot.Even though you’ll inevitably end up staying elsewhere from time-to-time, casualness is something that you should exude through your attitude, not your apartment’s cleanliness level, so best to just be prepared. Own at least as many pillows as there are sex participants. Buy 17 different kinds so you can switch it up every night! If you’re having casual sex, accept that condoms will always be part of that equation.I’m not suggesting you grab your pants and do a and intimacy and casualness tend to extinguish one another.
Most hookups don’t start with someone coming up to another person and asking, “Would you be down to have some sex tonight with no expectations for the future and no commitment whatsoever?
Manley is on the same page, but his reasoning is more economical: “Guys still [usually] make more money than women, so they should offer to pay, regardless of whoever asked out whom,” he says.